That Which We Have Done

These creatures know how to spend their time wisely.

A few years ago, I read an article – maybe it was in the New York Times, but I don’t remember - that told the story of a woman who had the idea to treat her children to an unforgettable, once-in-a-lifetime vacation.  She wanted the family to take a multi-week safari before the oldest left home, to solidify their memories of each other as a single unit moving through the world.  As I remember the tale, she had the financial resources to take the trip in the form of company stock grants and had no other particular plans for the (theoretical) money the grants represented. The expenditure would not result in economic hardship, nor would it have interfered with her financial responsibilities. Ultimately she decided against the extravagance and the family did not take the trip.  Shortly thereafter, the stock grants lost their value, the older son went off to college, and our heroine developed an enduring case of maternal regret.

More recently I came across research into the subject of why people, generally speaking, have more regrets about things they left undone as opposed to the things done.  It’s apparently totally likely that, say, a tequila-fueled spring break trip to Cabo with a newly elected judge’s middle son results in much less regret than not having gone at all. Research suggests that this is true even if the thing one has done was an objectively colossally bad idea. Somehow I recall that this idea is also tied into some other research that looked into why people do not redeem high-value gift cards.  Seems they wait for the perfect opportunity to use the “money” only to realize that the deadline has passed, the restaurant/store/yoga studio is out of business, the card was lost by being sent out with the recycling, or whatever.

Lesson:  drink the tequila, go to Cabo, spend the gift card.

Of course, I could save us all a lot of time by just pointing out that one can learn a lot from the plot synopses of Bucket  List and Dead Poet's Society. 

These ideas have been kicking around my head for a long time and only recently have I begun to question why they've stayed with me.  Maybe it’s age and my nicely organized and project-managed midlife crisis, I don’t know.  If I had a coat of arms, the motto would surely read non volito.  I do a lot of non volito around here.  I’ll get around to it eventually, you know.

So I've been thinking.  If I wanted to ditch the non and get to more volito, what would I do?  Travel?  Read? Visit family? Develop some hobbies (other than work and driving my kids around)?

Yes, please.

Here Not There

I used to blog there, now I blog here.  I'm going to keep the old place going, mostly because it's a documentation of my life for the past 13 years and I don't want to lose it. It's also a good reference for the canning recipes I've come to rely on year after year.

Escape velocity

Other than that, though, I've been solidly regarding that old place as archival in nature. The premise and narrative arc no longer work for me and I've struggled to keep a place for it in my life, which has changed tremendously since it began. There have been new houses, jobs, weddings, births, deaths, and the framework just couldn't take any more or meet me where I am emotionally and mentally.

That was all then.  This is now.